Due to a Spring Break "staycation" and a little bit of boredom I found myself giving out my number to a random suitor a couple weeks ago. I do not recommend giving out numbers to randoms, but this one has turned into quite the bit of entertainment for me.
A bit of background about this guy. I gave my number out and he texted a couple times without me responding because I realized how dumb it was to give out my number so quickly. However, during my staycation I partook in a few beverages of the vino variety and it made my decision making skills a little less than brilliant, so I ended up talking to him a bit. We texted for about a week and then one random weeknight I was hanging out with a friend at my house and I got an nugget of pure gold. A textaroo to do him a favor. Here is our conversation. Literally, taken out of my phone and typed into this blog for your reading pleasure. Side bar: I know this guys name (but don't know how to spell it, so I shall call him Rafiki...just because it is a great name). His name is about all I know of this man. Keep that in mind during our convo.
Rafiki: When you get a chance can you give a review on http://www.yelp.com/ Company name _________ (I'm not writing his company cause somehow I think that would be helping him try and advertise his company through dating websites).
Me: What?
Rafiki: Impressed with the service. Very knowledgeable Technicians I would recommend them to my family members.
Me: I've never heard of that service (ps...I will tell you this. The service is exterminators. Good to know I was talking to a bug man. This is in no way bashing the business. It is really important. No one wants spiders meandering around in their home. No one!)
Rafiki: It's ur chance to lie for once
Me: (deciding to play along) The thing is I don't feel comfortable lying because I don't have pests.
Rafiki: Thanxs no thanxs
Me: Haha. This is so completely random
Rafiki: What u mean? I thought we cool. I guess not. That's how I eat.
Me: That's how you eat huh?
Rafiki: If u needed something with ur work and I could help I would
Me: So literally you want me to write a review?
Rafiki: Yes.
I then decided that I was done for the day. The next day I got two texts from Rafiki.
Rafiki: I see we are not cool.
Rafiki: Did you review on yelp?
I didn't reply. Wasn't really into discussing how Rafiki's eat at the moment. Then last night I received a few more nuggets of gold from him.
Rafiki: LOL
Me (cause I couldn't help myself, so I responded to that horrendous context): Why LOL?
Rafiki: Do you want me to be ur boyfriend?
At this point I was past the point of questioning the guy because he had already been written off as Charlie Sheen to me, but now I started seriously questioning the other females on this website. Has this guy had luck with his tactics? Sweet Lord above, I hope not.
Me: Um...no. I don't even know you.
Rafiki: Okay I am going to delete ur number.
Me: Peace
Rafiki (8:53 pm): Peeeeeeaccccccce.
Rafiki (8:53 pm): Can I come hang out?
This site is doing wonders on how I view some people in this world! God Bless you Rafiki! I hope you get your five stars in customer service, your glowing yelp review, and a girl who knows exactly how you eat; however, you won't be getting it from this girl.
