What's your name again?

So, was this man my Prince Charming? Was he the one I have been waiting for? Absolutely not. Was this man a good addition to my blog? Absofreakinlutely!

I wish I could start with a nice paragraph about Prince Charming: including his likes, dislikes, and funny little quirks. But the truth is...I don't know anything about him. Not even his name. Let's be clear, I THOUGHT I knew his name, but I was proved wrong on our third date. That's right, third date. I dated someone three times without knowing his name. No biggie.

Before I go into our dates let's establish a name for Mr. "Wonderful". I shall go with Rodger. I would like to name him Rodger for three reasons. 1. I have never dated a Rodger 2. Rodger is about as far away as I can get to his actual name and 3. Rodger has some fun knicknames that I can use throughout the rest of this post.

Before you judge me for not knowing his name I would like to point out that A. Rodge had a thick accent and B. I THOUGHT I knew his name, but it turned out I didn't (more of that to follow). The first time I met him I had him repeat his name. I even spelled it thinking that would help me make sure I knew it 100%. The conversation probably went something like this. Me: What's your name again? Him: Rkjasdkfj (real name inserted) Me: What? Him: RKASDJKF (REAL NAME SPOKEN LOUDER) Me: Oh, Rodger? Him: Yes (acquiescing to my stupidity) Me: Great. Nice to meet you Rodger! Thus, began our tale.

Date #1: After our meet cute on January 8th I had to wait a couple weeks for good ol' Rodge Podge to ask me out again. Promptness was not a huge strong suit for him. When he finally asked me out it was mid day and I was already at a baseball game with five of my favorite friends. We decided that he could meet us after the baseball game at a local bar that I sometimes frequent (and by sometimes I mean the bouncers know my name...Cheer's style). When he showed up with his friend he approached another brunette girl at the bar thinking it was me, so clearly we had a huge connection from the beginning. When he finally found my friends and I things were going ok. Well, things were going ok for Rodger and I. My friends and his friend were having a bit of a harder time. You see, Rodger's friend didn't really talk much. I am sure he would have, but English was not his first language and he was just learning. My motto is love has no language, but I am afraid that my friends needed a bit more of this precious language to help be my wing man. In fact, all five of my friends tried to communicate with him and all five struck out. While they were striking out, I was rounding the bases with Good ol'Rodge and he asked to see me again. And the crowd went wild! And by went wild, my friends quickly shoved me out the door, so that they couldn't have any more awkward half conversations.

Date #2: We decided to meet at a restaurant right by my house that had an awesome view and patio. We were supposed to go to a movie, but it was nice weather, so I chose this instead. I drank a lemonade and he drank...so I don't really remember what he drank, but the only importance is that it wasn't alcoholic. Anyway, we had a pretty good conversation and things were going well. I had jokes and he thought they were humorous. BIG plus. Then the check came. Rodger grabbed it like a gentleman and I thanked him like a lady would. After I thanked him he stopped and said, "Wait, what? I thought you had already paid for yourself. Oh well, I guess you are welcome." Seriously, Rodger? I had a lemonade!

Side note: I just realized I was spelling Rodger like Jacquizz and James spell their last name and not in the conventional way of Roger. It's too late to change it, so this is a little ode to Oregon State football. Go Quizz.

Back to the date. After Cheapy and I left, he insisted on driving me home. I lived within walking distance, but I agreed. He then told me to wait for him while he got his car. I thought it was odd that I couldn't just go with him, but I soon found out why. Up pulls Rodger with a 90's sports car with the top down. Rodge was sitting smugly in the driver seat looking proud of the red beast that pulled up. I stifled a laugh because the car looked ridiculous and he looked even more ridiculous in it. Somehow I wondered what he was over compensating for with this red concoction. If you know what I mean, and I think you do! I jumped in, and by jumped in I really mean I slide down to sit. That car was so low to the ground it felt like we were butt scooting all the way home. He also revved his engine no less than three times. True winner. Don't worry reader, I made fun of him each time. He deserved it.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the best part of that date. I found out why he wasn't drinking any alchy beverages. You guessed it. Mr. Rodger had a alchy blower thingy (others would call this a breathalyzer, but I like my name better). That's right. Rodger was a fan of drinking and driving. Twice.

Wow. I had really caught a classy one this time. Unfortunately, I let him have one more chance. Yes, there was another date after this. Fortunately, for you...I am too busy to write about it today. So, reader...wait in anticipation for our third glorious date. I am sure it will be entertaining. Or will it?