Lying for days!

And the lie was...................(mental drum roll) the obvious choice: I have met three people on the Internet that I thoroughly enjoy.  It's more like five.  Again I lie.  The number is more like .6889 of a guy.  That's right.  A decimal of a man.  Let's break it down shall we.

First and most importantly.  God bless the Internet.  It never fails to entertain me.  They will let anyone on this little thing called Internet these days.  I am still getting many a fascinating email from the special breed of men that happen to have accounts on the same free dating site I do.  Sometimes I just want to meet them to ask them about their life and how it works.  Then I again realize that I am on a free site and there are a ton of freaks and creeps out there, so I would be a fool to meet them anywhere and anytime.  Write that advice down.

Now onto the stories behind Two Truths and a Lie

1.  I did indeed go on a date with Mr. Good Apple from a few posts ago. (Yes, I do realize this meeting was LONG overdo).  We met at a very public restaurant in the middle of our towns.  He seemed like a really good guy.  He was funny, smart, cute, and sweet.  Problem was:  I left the date still not knowing if we were better in the friends zone or if we should date again.  Good Apple texted me after the date and then the whole next day.  Classically, I didn't get another text for a whole week.  Painful!  Being a woman, I spent the next week contemplating what the date meant and what the lack of texts meant.  Of  course, being a man, Good Apple spent the next week thinking of beer, boobs, and baseball (actually I don't know what he was thinking about that week but it's fun to imagine).  Bottom line:  this "relationship" is To Be Continued for now.

2.  I broke down.  I saw an ad (damn you advertisers) for a special on eharmony and broke down and got a membership.  I wish I had conferred with someone because this site has become the biggest waste of my money ever.  The men all seem kind of like Mouth on One Tree Hill (when he was in high school because now a days I think he is kinda hotza).  If you are not into One Tree Hill let me break it down even further.  The men seem like E.T.  They need to phone home and catch a clue.  I am totally and completely lumping all these men in one group and I apologize for that.  I actually blame myself.  My profile must not show my true passions and what I desire in men.  So, I tried to fool the system and specify who my "matches" should be, but they were still pretty Patrick Demsey nerdy (obviously before he became Dr. Dreamy).

3.  Clearly I have not found three people I truly enjoyed.  The reason?  Internet.  Dating.  Pickings are thinskiway!  I am not judging all of the sites out there.  I am just judging the sites I am on. 

How do I solve this dilemma?  Don't worry!  I have a friend who has outlined a plan for me.  Stay tuned for the M.I.P.  Men Improvement Plan for Cherry Slurgin.